the virtue of patience
Everywhere I go I see impatient people (let alone kids) who seem unable to realise that not everything awards quick results. We may stomp in a hurry or insist to get whatever we desire here and now but it doesn’t work like that. We have power over our desires but not on the timing or the way they manifest. There is a time to sow and there is a time to reap.
We often tell our children that the grass won’t grow faster if they pull it hard. Whatever they might dream of today, they must plant it in their mind first. Plant the seed of intention and take care of it. Water it with pure action, fertilise it with good will, leave no weeds and when the time comes, the intention will bloom and it will give fruits.
Sometimes there’s no harvest, sometimes the fruit might not be like expected but we have to be grateful to the Universe either way. Feeling disappointed with the result of our intentions is actually a sign that we had been wishing for the wrong thing. In certain circumstances, not getting what we want could be the greatest gift.
- We never jumped to satisfy each cry for water, food or help, unless urgent. We would say things like: “Give me a minute and I will be there”, “Let me finish this and I will come”, “We cannot do this today but I promise to take care of it first thing tomorrow”. During both breastfeeding periods we maintained strict feeding/sleeping routines which rarely offered immediate hunger or thirst satisfaction. They had to wait and they survived it.
- Between the age of 1 and 4 we used to take the kids to airports, bus stops or market queues, just to observe and experience waiting. Waiting could be fun if you know how to do it. Chatting with people, exploring the surroundings, noticing things – all these are excellent time-killers and effective ways to master waiting.
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Once in kindergarten, the kids started planting seeds in wet cotton and then watch them grow. It’s a fantastic way for children to grasp the passage of time and understand the process of conception and growing. Later we brought this activity outside in the garden. In spring we planted flowers, and then we waited. Their excitement with the first sprout, them checking the progress every now and then, the joy with the first bloom – nothing compares to those memories.
- Occasionally we would bake some sweets or cook a dish they love, setting a clock timer and making them responsible for turning the oven off when time is up. A lovely way for children to learn to wait, to know the clock and to experience the sweet anticipation of something good pending to happen.
- Then, at older age, we used to put a waiting period for almost every wish they had. They needed to wait for their first mobile phones or bank cards or bikes or expensive trainers. Nothing was granted upon say unless urgent or required for school. (They even waited three months for their kitten to arrive but this was not on purpose.)
Looking back to those times and seeing the result now makes me feel good. The children have mastered patience so well and gained so much strength and discipline along the way that we hope their future life will be positively influenced by these beneficial virtues.
